Actually Attraction is tops on my list…Whether it is physical or sexual…both are about the same in my book, but what attracts me, may not attract you…
Relationships take a lot of hard work, it is a give and take moment in time… so at first it is the physical attraction that draws you in, but learning about another person, taking the time to know all about them takes time…and you may be thinking do I really want this relationship, I don’t have time, or all that is going to happen is I am going to get my feelings and emotions hurt again for caring or trying.
Seriously that is because you think you all ready know what you want in a mate….Love happens out of the blue, attractions happen out of the blue, so you’re on a mission for the perfect person to be there or perfect body parts, to the perfect chin, whether it is a stable relationship the outcome will appear…but hiding your heart, taking this love as it is, may not be you.
Each and every one of us are attracted to different people, body build, facial hair, eye color, etc… and on the other hand we are repulsed by many things about men and women, the turn offs stay in our brains, that recorder, that lets us know what we like and dislike.
Yes your senses attract you to men or women, and many other different people, and the process of finding mister right or the perfect mate may not be easy…
While the attraction is there, all the pieces are missing, you may find them physically attractive, but the love or passion is missing when you’re looking for the sexual attraction…While the attraction is there and you may do something physical…the passion isn’t there…Looking for that Chemical of love…or a long term relationship…
Naturally we are attracted to people, that could be mates with good smells, with the physical a attractive body, and on the other hand some attractions are like garbage to our noses, there is this one man, who talks to me but he smells like moth balls, it turns me off, it is repulsive to me…This is funny, because he lives with his mother, odd sort of person, but comes to see me each and every day…his smell turns me off, even though the physical attraction is there, it will not go anywhere…because I can’t get past the smell of mothballs, it reminds me of my Grandma and her wool coats not that I didn’t love her, when she hugged me all I could smell was mothballs.
And the older I get, the pickier I am or have become. When I younger, I couldn’t survive without a man in my life and the older I get setting new goals for myself not to just settle for the one that says I love you, or is just there. Not needing anyone that is a taker and not a giver, or just for sex, even though it is a high point in my life, it is interesting that relationships need to be give and take, but I always find the takers, and not the givers.
Although I miss the cuddling, the hugs, and the connection, with another human, I am actually happy being alone, right now. We do need others in our life and there is a difference between family love and friend love, but not having to deal with another person may be a blessing, because I have enough stress with my own life.
But seriously I want a someone in my life, but they have to be the right one, accepting me for me, accepting my family, accepting my pets, accepting all that goes with the package, but finding this person may take some time, I have had 3 marriages, 3rd supposed to be the charm, he was alright, I loved him but didn’t really love him, my 2nd husband I loved dearly, but he didn’t love me the same. The first was to get away from the pattern in life, but he was worse for me than my own life. So the path of men hasn’t been the greatest, 2 and 3 have died, to leave me alone in this world, but everything happens for a reason, but I haven’t figured out this one yet.
My mother tells me everything happens for a reason, Oh my, my life has been just that most of the time…but she also told me there was plenty of time for a husband after my children were grown, I believe her now, only at the time I couldn’t be alone. But finding Mister Right must not be in the cards for now, the children are grown, and have their own lives, which are a blessing, I am well and alive and got myself dressed this morning, so life is good….
And not attracted to anyone, I look don’t get me wrong, but they are all duds in my book, repulsed, or overwhelmed with the all about me men I meet, yes, I do know all men are not alike, but the qualities in the men I am meeting now is all about me behavior, no time for my family but wants me to go visit theirs, and wants to be in control. This isn’t happening because I am in control of my own life now, I have learned to pay my own bills and put gas in my own car. And even though I speak of my mother I am not attached to her hip.
And talking to me as if I was a man, about engines, cars, etc, is a turn off to me. Typically I would be interested, but not while I am watching a love story on TV, or after I cooked a wonderful dinner, and the candles are burning, I have something else on my mind…Doing little things like renting a really good movie, or spending time in the kitchen to make someone happier, should be the key. We do these things for and expect someone to be happy, but when they aren’t, and want to talk about things that really don’t interest you, the insights on this relationship go sour.
Doing something positive for another in hopes of a good outcome, and not getting it means we are not on the same page…Feeling good about yourself for doing something that you thought was going to be the highlight of the evening…
Just looking for someone to walk in the woods, hold hands, and have a shared vision with, but the artificial world that we live in, has made normal everyday moments, the TV, the Computer, the way someone else does it a big part of everyday life…
Staying focused on my dreams, my goals and my family not being tied to my mother’s apron strings, even though I love her dearly and listen to what she has to say….I am grown up, I have my own life…
The person that I want to spent the rest of my days with, must have a shared vision, the same interests as me, same goals, love of both families, good values, wants to be continually challenged by life, Believe in God, be able to handle new issues, like money problems, kids, and death…Grow together, talk about problems openly, and not be judgmental.
This person shouldn’t be Jealous and give me my own space as I give them the same, can’t have 24/7 contact, have to work, have to be somewhere else, have friends, have grandchildren etc.
This person should be predictable of the things that I do for them, cooking, washing, working, etc.
This person should be happy to show a little tenderness, everyone of us needs a hug, the placing blame, judging, or analyzing don’t rate high in my book. Someone to laugh with, someone to that is not afraid to say I am sorry…
But simply finding this person is hard enough, yes I have set my standards high, I am not going to settle for Mister Greedy, self-centered, all about me, mama’s boys again.
Even if I am physically and mentally attracted to him, he will have many tests to pass.
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